raw

When you’ve been going to bed at 7 pm with your kids for days, you are bound to finally catch up on your sleep and be up at 11 pm and ready to take on the world!

Moving weekend is upon us! I am beyond ecstatic. This move feels different. Like I’m not running away from something, but towards it instead. The irony being clear that both directions are tackled each time I move but this time there’s a different state of consciousness. A different state of mind and of being.

I’ve worked so hard to get here. At the moment in my healing, my wake up marker’ is my daughter. Since her arrival i can say I was smacked awake by life and pushed and pulled and shoved my way into a new life where healing can take place and toxicity can peel away. My daughter (the wise) has had 10 bedrooms in her fast 8 years of life. Fast for me anyway. Time is just perception after all. This time though its different.

This time we are moving into the known, into the cozy and safe, into a place with roots and fond memories. A new concept for me. Moving with no stress as I flow and settle into what is best for me. Allowing miracles to come from unexpected places as friends have rallied in and supported and helped me every step of the way. Friends that are simply souls in a similar frequency. Proof of the results from all the hard work I have put in these past 8 years. A result in a more harmonic, balanced and loving energy I’m putting out that is attracting like frequency back to me.. and I’m open to receive it too! Wow! What a concept!

I am in no way or means enlightened and transitioned into my heaven on earth. I am simply in a more aware state and open to the lessons while observing myself and acting according to a more higher state of consciousness. Going through the process of awakening and realigning with my true self versus the 3D illusion I was clinging onto for dear life. There are challenges at every turn but the perspective we utilize and the awareness we can conceive shifts the most seemingly detrimental and powerless situations into opportunities for expansion and growth all while experiencing a multidimensional reality game. ..yes game. Because win, lose, live or die, we go on and will reflect on this experience from a place of love and gratitude.

Moving with a toddler and an 8 year old holds some interesting challenges in its self. Half the time I feel like I’m packing one box while cleaning up two unpacked boxes and making two meals and dealing with that mess all over again all the while kids need engagement if not at least a few hours of your day spread out so that it actually feels eternal. They can only entertain each other for a short while when you actually want them to hang out together. Lets not add in the fact that over the last several weeks there’s been a few viruses creeping through the house and there’s been plenty of hours in the day (and night) invested in puke patrol and fever caregiver. Yes, that part has been fun.

Yeepee for those roots i feel I’ve tapped into. Those like minded and like hearted friends that have come to my (and my kids) aid and watched thing one and thing two while I run around trying to juggle all these balls I’ve picked up. But doing it and doing it and doing it well!.. ya.. LL Cool style 😉

Courts and lawyers are also a big part of my life at the moment. I don’t like to direct energy into places that don’t require my energy but in the spirit of this raw written expression lets not forget to mention that I’m in the process of gaining full custody of not one but two kids from two different Sociopaths with a heavy dose of NPD. I should just take the damn bar exam at this point hahaha. I got this. There’s a method to every madness. My daughter is excited to have her last name changed she says! Im happy for her too! She’s come a long way and I’m proud of her lessons and how she handles stuff thus far. My daughter, the wise.

My lessons keep going as I recently had money stolen from me as well. The single mom, divorcing mom comrade routine, help a mom out and she runs. But I’m still weighing my options. Go ahead with retrieving my money? I’m a force to be up against. Or seeing the lesson clearly and affording the $80+ that it costs me to never have to deal with this type of person again. Not my karma. I’m still not without. My babies and I always have what we need. A roof over our heads, healthy food in our bellies. Clothes on our backs and love in our hearts. Did I mention I am SO excited for this move?!! Heading in a confident, clear and right direction! Aware of things i could have done different, but grateful for the ‘hard road’ I always seem to favor as the experiences are always so colourful! I’m a master planner, I always see my way out and now I also see my way in. My lesson, my awareness, my reason, my experience.

I have a warm place in my heart for the loving souls that have stepped forward to help me in my move with brute strength and pure heart and intent. I feel very loved and cared for in this realm and in others. We all are, we just have to lift the veil and see it I guess. I know I wasn’t always able to. Like rose coloured glasses, there’s also blue ones that only allow the unloving images to filter through. I simply realized we can control which pair of glasses we wear! Bam, that simple, and it comes not only through awareness, but most importantly…practice. Repeated behavior practiced becomes habit. it doesn’t even take that long 😉

Grateful for my health, to be able to take care of these little beings that have their entire faith wrapped up in me. How can I teach them to think in this world if I’m not always learning my self. Kids need to see our growth and vulnerability. To see that we face challenges every day and its not about the challenges but rather the how we deal with life that can shift our reality. Life is not happening to us, its responding to us. We are experiencing the results of our energy vibrated back to us and our decisions at each given moment offering us a 3D reflection to grow from!

 

 

 

 

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