In the last month, I’ve had the three men that have been in my life in the last 20 years bully me, threaten me and verbally attack me. I have been afraid to talk about it due to the obscene amount of control I used to allow them over me, and I have excused not getting into detail on some of my Facebook posts due to the obviousness of not reacting out of ego.
I feel though, my path is that of service. My story helps so many privately, it’s time I removed more filters from my freedom of speech. I am opening my throat chakra and voicing things I am dealing with so that others know they are not alone. 💙💙💙
My ex-husband (my 9-year old’s father) decided to leave when she was 1. It was a hard road of fear, lies, manipulation, slander, and financial control and I continue to learn the lesson of taking back my power and not reacting to his bullying.
When she was two, he took me to court threatening to take her away from me, only to end up being a weekend dad up till court settled about two years after that. By the time she was 6, he had been inconsistent, to say the least, and started to drift further away as his personal life got deeper into illegal activity and narcissistic behavior.
At one point he went almost two years with no contact or support. I took that opportunity to file for full custody, only to be offered no access to him and full travel and passport permission for me by him! He even asked if there was a way he can give me anything I wanted (as far as rights) as long as he didn’t need to drive that whole hour and a half up to court.
He gave up all the rights willingly, his idea, and has now blasted me with blame that I (as the mother) “should be ensuring that I only speak good things about him and that I arrange regular visits” (he is on house arrest last I heard at an unknown address.)
Seriously, she is 9, not 2. 🤦♀️ She is well educated on the insecurity filled narc showboat persona he tries to portray.
The second significant person on my path after my daughter’s birth triggered my awakening was a now ex-boyfriend that would offer many lessons. We were on and off for years and have no children together. Somehow though, he thinks that he has rights and has recently threatened me on multiple occasions that he should take me to court because I will no longer allow him to see my children.
He then continues to claim that he “helped raise my kids”. I’ve done the math and my 3.5 years old collectively has known him for a year and my 9.5-year-old has bonded with him over a collective span of less them 3 years.
The tactics these people will use and the lows they will go to is a testament of how little boundaries I use to have. As I am about to embark on a self-empowering journey, I am being tested on all that I have learned up until this point. Tested on my skills of disengagement. Forced to reflect on my thoughts, emotions, and actions. Are they stemming from fear or love? Am I allowing them to infiltrate my light or am I BEing the example and offering Love and Compassion. Compassion to them for I see the duality they play, and compassion for me not to bother arguing back. We do not speak the same language.
This brings me to my son’s dad, the hardest of them all. Less human time together, but a long history. More to detangle from. His contract had me standing on my own during my third pregnancy with him. Taking back my power and having the baby on my own. When Orion was less than 2 months old, his dad emailed me a goodbye letter. Finally, after a year and a half of him living 10 minutes away with zero contact, I filed for custody and offered supervised access should the court proceedings trigger him wanting involvement.
He denied paternity until he was court-ordered, then briefly demanded 50/50 access till his court delays caused the judge to turn the table on him. The judged gave me sole custody and told him to file an access motion should he ever feel like finally getting his medical paperwork in order. He was claiming he was too ill to work or even attend court, I was advised to ask for the standard tax NOA each year should I ever choose to file to receive child support.
I was awarded freedom by not chasing money, money that they each made clear their goal was to never give me. Money that clearly I didn’t really need to chase after since I had been a single mom nearly a decade with not much help from anyone.
Freedom was at my fingertips, after so many chains and so much isolation, I was about to spread my wings. . But I was still scared to shout it out loud.
My son’s dad emailed me out of the blue recently, clearly he had seen my posts about my plans to travel through a fake FB account and decided to attack my light: “If you come after me to support a child I will never see them I will make it very difficult for you to leave the country. “. I realized after, that he had a job and that it was almost time to ask for his tax info (should I decide it was even worth it 🤦♀️)
The test starting to be obvious to me.
What could they possibly do?
They both gave up their children.
They both had a history, making their threats a joke.
I had been detached long enough to shake my head straight:
Keep shining Paris! You got this, that’s why they scramble, threaten and shame.
Share your truth Evi, and let them believe their own reality.
I am safe, I have my babies, I am Divine, I am Free!
La la la la la!
So many truths are coming to the surface during this planetary ascension. I am seeing so many people coming out of abusive and toxic situations. Please know you are not alone. Please know that it takes a shift in our perspective to flip it all around. Please know that you are loved and supported. Reach out. I am available, resources are available.
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